If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
