She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
