Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
