I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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