I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
