hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
