sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
