Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
