happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
