Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
