just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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