I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
