Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The best revenge is premature balding
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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