I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
