Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
