i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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