There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
