Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
