MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
