I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so let's talk penis.
I just gift wrapped bread.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
