What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
