found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
