well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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