margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
