thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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