I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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