wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
