my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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