I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
