I wanna bring you to show and tell
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
