guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
