he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
