note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
