i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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