Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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