I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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