dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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