is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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