We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
