is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
