he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
