Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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