I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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