I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
