I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
