R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
