Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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