I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
