If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
