Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize