I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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