All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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