i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
