Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize