I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
