I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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