my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have fence marks all over my body
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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