So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
