One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
