she looked like the bat from fern gully.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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