so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
COCAINE IS GR8
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
