Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Green mimosas i think yes
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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