Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize