I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
