the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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