I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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